pinkpill time

2012-01-23T00:51:00.000+08:00

Drama #1

2010-06-24T07:11:00.000+08:00

I just want to vent out…

I don’t know how much longer I can keep his secret. I might end up losing so much love and respect for myself if I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’ve been with somebody who’s such a liar! I’ve never been deceive like this. I felt like I’m just being used…I’m not supposed to accept this. I’m not supposed to not do anything about it. I’m the type who always gets even. Why can’t I do it now?! Why can’t I be strong for myself now?! Why am I allowing him to stab my heart and slit my wrist without any warning? I guess this is me being stupid and irrational.

Hurting myself again...

2010-06-23T08:28:00.000+08:00

All I want is honesty…
Why do people always tend to take advantage those who have a good heart? Why is hard for people to just love back and be thankful they have somebody to love? Is it really hard to be faithful to the person you love?
I still have a lot of questions in my head but these three are my top questions for this moment. I never meant to have a drama around this time in the morning. But this is the only thing that I know that always keeps me sane. I may be one of the very few people who still believe that there is really somebody there who is still worth loving and trusting. I almost gave up but when my current lover came, I told myself to still give it a try. But not until finding out that what I believe in is really not the truth of things. I’m in a point where I question myself, why do I need to still make sense of something that is already crystal clear. Does this mean that I’m on my way to looneyville? I guess not. I just have a little spark of hope that I am still going to be happy. I sure want to answer the three questions that I have, but I guess I need your help in reviving myself from believing that happiness nowadays is but mere fairytale.
No more exceptions for me. Lying and cheating is but essential, LOVE…will just be a dream.

Californication, Mateo, Hot Sunny Sunday...All in the Mix

2009-04-05T05:45:00.000+08:00

Atmo: Mateo's Mixtape (Mateo's so GOOD)
Mood: Contemplative (I can't believe either)
Appetite: Zero (Nothing NEW here)

Yes, I am wallowing again. I just remembered when I was still in high school. I have a pretty solid plan that I'm going to finish college and fly to Cali and have a good start there. I don't know what happened...I chickened out. I got scared of moving so far away from my family. Thinking that I can't really survive being away. Away from my safety zone, from my closest friends who I can always depend n no matter how sh*^&ty my case is and away from the places where I can always find peace and think really deep. Thinking about it now is giving me a very sick feeling of regret. I wanna deny it but I just can't. My cowardliness put me a deeper s*^&. It slowed me down to neverville, where independence never exist. I had my chance and I blew it. I just gave a bigger excuse to myself not grow up. To be that brat that I will always be. I feel so sorry about my parents now for having me. I'm giving them too much load to carry. I'm a big wreck, a coward and a loser. I need to get back on my feet big time! Alright, I will be very very focus...stick to my list and everything will be good. Palm Sunday is really giving me a very very harsh time...

Nicotine Overload

2009-04-04T07:28:00.000+08:00

It's so ironic that I find happiness to another person's misery. I know that I'm into soft S&M but I just accepted the fact that I'm feeling a different kind of JOY whenever I see a person being miserable about their own love life. I know it sounds strange but I love this new discovery about my self. I'm liking the road that I'm taking now. I'm on my way to numbness, not falling for the idea of being in love and not feeling any misery being not in love. Well the crave for making love is still there and it's easy to swing by so I guess I will just really welcome this new emotion I've discovered. I will be the missing ingredient to other people miserable love life. I'm so glad that I watched "Vicky Cristina Barcelona", if it wasn't for that flick I wouldn't come to this realization. I really saw myself to Cristina--knowing what not to like and not knowing what to like. Damn! I have to buy more cigs.

you're so vain you think this BLOG is all about you... don't you? don't you?-- copied from Ed (eddbei) from Ara (newmoonmaiden) and Dar (dar² obladi-oblada)

2009-03-28T14:43:00.000+08:00

a. Write something about 15 different people
b. You can NOT say who they are
c. If someone asks you which one is about them, you can NOT tell
d. Tag 15 people who you think would do this, too. You don't have to tag the people you wrote about.

1. Why don't you just admit that you like it when I'm teasing you? Is really too hard for you to be so honest about your feelings? shhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiissssssshhhhhhhtttttt.....

2 I'm so tired of you, STOP GIVING ME FALSE HOPES YOU A*&$%L# YOU! sheeeeesh....

3 Hoy ibalik mo yung camera ko and yung cellphone ko!

4. I really like you but I know that your not into you know...hihi

5. Thank you for still caring for me after what happened....

6. Sorry pero ang immature mo naman if galit ka pa din sakin! Bata pa tayo nun noh!

7. Please stop flirting with me. You're the one who pushed me away so just let me go..please....

8. Man your PURE PLASTIC!!!

9. Sana kapatid na lang kita..(^_^)

10. Mukhang PERA!

11. Please stop living in an imaginary world that you created kasi nakakatakot ka na talaga!

12. Please stop manipulating the people around you...it's so unhealthy?;P

13. Balik ka na please...T-T

14. I really think we're going to be good friend so don't be shy to ask help if you need any. I'm not a god you know..=)

15. It's sometimes healthy to be alone so please stop bugging me!

haaaaaaayyyy...I'm so relieved...;P

On Recession

2009-03-19T08:26:00.000+08:00

I was just chatting with a Edd (a friend here in Cebu) and he shared me think link below:

CLICK HERE

I know that it was really happening but just like I told my friend "Sanay na kasi tayo sa recession dito sa Pinas..." Kind of sad but it's true. We almost don't feel or should I say we just ignore the recession because we've been there. And almost every year we experience it. I remember when I was still in high school, every news in the television is about the Philippines getting poorer. Well if not about random crimes it's about our economy going down. May be my blog about it is kind of late but I just felt it now. I just saw how serious it is. So it's high time for us to really save some for the future. But let's all be choosy with the banks. Edd also told me about the top banks here in the PI so think about saving in BPI, RCBC, BDO or Metrobank. LOL...But seriously, let's all do our own little good deed. I may sound a bit reactive but I just got some extra wisdom after my birthday so give me a break. ;P

If my mom will have a chance to read this, she'll be SUPER proud of me.=)

Note to Self

2009-03-19T06:39:00.000+08:00

One thing I realized about not having to work, you get to enjoy the things you normally do. Like having coffee for one. I always have coffee before going to work and still go online and update stuff but it's timed and it's as if I'm being rushed. I never get to actually think of the things that I was really suppose to be doing and just think of the things that I have to do right now because it's my job. I get to enjoy it but not as fun as taking pictures or painting. I mean yes, I always take pictures of myself or when we go out every weekend but it's different if you get to go to different places and just take pictures. Appreciating your object and making it your star. Well painting, I never get to do that anymore. I kind of stopped when I went to college, but I miss it BIGTIME! So i really should do everything in my list huh? Well I need to accomplish the first number item in my list, 1. Open a saving account that will actually last.I cant do the things I love if I'm broke right?=)

ciao! ciao!

Poor People

2009-03-18T12:26:00.000+08:00

Sorry but I just can't stop myself from blogging about it.

Why do poor people tend to always judge gay people when they see one?

I was just on my way to Brown Cup (Cheap coffee shop in our building) to have coffee with a Naina (good friend in the house and in the office) when this jeepney driver had to pee and he actually showed his small package and gave me an inviting look. Why do they always do that? Do I look like a perv? I know I haven't had sex for awhile but I'm not just gonna do it with anybody?! gawd! I just hate them. I remembered one friend who had the same experience with construction workers who actually whistled and shouted at him as if he's asking to be violated like that. They really need to change their attitude. It's making me hate poor people now. I don't wanna belittle them but times like this just makes me hate them and think that they deserve their state.

Don't hate me for writing this, I'm just really pissed...that's all.;P

Getting Older

2009-03-17T18:24:00.000+08:00

I am 25 today, a year older and hoping that I am actually wiser. I was really not excited about this, not at all. I made a lot of plans before and I was not to pursue all of them. For one, I wasn't able to finish my studies. I'm totally responsible for not having time and courage to go back to school. I'm just afraid to fail my parents again. I want to do it on my own now. If I'm going back to school, I want to finance myself for my studies. But I'm not going to lie, I will let them help me pay the tuition.=)...Well I can't afford it right now, see it's number 2 in my list (Reality Bites).

I still don't have that artsy shop that I've been dreaming for. That's because of me not changing my lifestyle. I'm to scared to step out of my comfort zone. For one, I can't give up eating out. I just don't know how to keep myself from not craving for fancy restos and the like. I have given up going out every weekend but I can't give out my sunny afternoons in SBC, CBTL or Starbucks. I'm not ready to stay away from coffee. Well I can't survive not getting a cup. Well I'm trying to cut some cost because I'm getting my daily dose in Brown Cup (Small Coffee Shop in our building who has a free Wifi connection and serves an amazing plate of Pesto Chops). So I did try huh?

I have cut down on shopping. Since I'm here in Cebu and there are only three grand malls here, it actually helped me. Some of the shops that I love are in Manila so I don't have much of the urge to actually do much shopping. So I have progressed a bit. All I need now to not lose my focus and just move forward.

I am 25 now and I'm actually wiser. (Shaaaaaisht...I actually wrote somethings that doesn't involve love issues and all that drama! Goody!)

Reality Check

2009-03-15T13:30:00.003+08:00

I feel like I have a deadline. I'm going to be a year older son and I feel like I'm pushed into a cliff. I'm just going to be a year older and I really don't think that's a big deal, but why am I not feeling the same? I mean I'm the youngest in our house (here in Cebu) and I shouldn't feel like my youth's being sucked out of me. But I just can't help myself from thinking a lot of stuff. So I thought of creating a list of things that I should accomplish before I turn 26 (sheeesh...I only have a year do all in the list).

1. Open a saving account that will actually last.
- Knowing me, I've been trying to stick to this way too long now. I've been telling myself that I'll so this and start saving but I keep on breaking my own oath. I don;t have enough self control to actually sustain a savings account. I always tend to make some excuse of not having a boyfriend who can manage both of our finances well.

2. Have a strict work out plan.
- Ever since I lost weight I haven't really managed to exercise more before I dedicated most of my time trying to remove some of my flabs. Which is so unhealthy since my weight now is so inconsistent like I'm developing this bad eating habit. I mean, YO YO diet is kinda OK i guess, but I don't wanna stick with it forever.

3. Enroll to driving school.
- After my stint when I was in high school, I never had a chance to actually drive again and it's really bothering me know that I'm taking the cab or jeep still.

4. Decide where I am staying.
- Yes, I am enjoying my time here in Cebu but I'm still not that definite if I'm actually planning to stay here for good. I need to weight a lot of things before considering this as my second home.

5. Stop relying on my Mom's finances.
- I can't still believe that I am still depending on my Mom whenever I'm overspending. It's a very toxic habit and I should give her a BREAK...seriously.

6. Cut down with my smoking.
- I don't know if I can but I really need to try. We have a bad history of cancer, diabetes, heart problem and obesity. I should really stop most of my bad habits...for real!

7. If number six fails then I need to choose between drinking and smoking.
- I don't want to be a hypocrite, so if my plan of cutting on smoking then I definitely need to choose. To die from too much drinking or from excessive smoking.

8. Creating a more concrete career plan.
- This I need to do ASAP. I'm actually enjoying work right now as a team supervisor in PS for OBZ but I know that I'll seek for a more challenging role soon. I need to really choose if I'll continue working or work and finish my studies at the same time. I really need to get my diploma soon.

9. Renew my passport.
- This is kinda lame but I really should renew my passport now or I'll never get a chance to visit my super best friend in London or check on Brian in Cali. I'll miss a lot of opportunities if I'll be so tamad in finally getting it done.

10. Get a my own DSLR.
- I want to be really honest with myself and continue my passion...photography. I've been telling myself that I'll continue doing it but a lot of times I fail. I should start doing it again before I end up slashing my own wrist for not sticking to the things that I love doing.

So there. I will stick to my list and just wanna remind my friends to knock my head if I'm forgetting to follow my list. I definitely need your help.=)

I'll continue my blah about it a month after my birthday. Later!

Rain

2009-03-15T12:29:00.000+08:00

I can't really stop my day from getting better. I'm just enjoying my Sunday afternoon with Nina and Win when some guy from my past just showed up. We'll he didn't really approach me or anything but he's here, just across the coffee shop where we're chilling. Just when I thought that I really don't care about him (Rain), that I no longer think about him...it hit me. Does dating me really makes them realize that they are better off dating girls? Am I cursed or something? If it's a super power then I don't want it! The entire rainbow community will definitely curse me from limiting the number of people they can date. Sheeeesh.....I'm really stressing too much. I'm not really sure if they're dating but it looks like the girl's introducing him with her mom or something. haishhhht....I don't wanna think about it anymore. I wish I could just stop thinking about it now.

going...going.......gone!

2009-01-27T15:25:00.000+08:00

I am not sure anymore. It really hit me. It all piled up and now it’s really overflowing. It’s not hate, more of disappointment.

I did everything just to be considered for this position and I’ve been working my ass off just to justify that I deserve to get to this level. May be right now, I can say that I’m still struggling and trying to fit in—to be more comfortable in this state. It just hit me! When I was in Fourth Grade, I remembered being accused by my Teacher that I intentionally hi the soccer ball so hard and hit my classmates face. From then on I told myself that I will never let anybody accuse me of anything that I never did, may it be a good or bad thing. I told myself that I will let myself heard. But with what just happened earlier, during our weekly meeting in the office. I don’t know why I kept m mouth shut. Did I chickened-out? But why? I know that I didn’t do anything wrong, I know that I have to let my voice heard or else my boss will just assume that giving an affirmation to what he just said. But I remained silent.

He won and all of us just swallowed everything he said. I will not get affected if this is just the first time and I know that I really did something wrong that resulted for him to be kicked in the ass by his boss. But this is the Nth time that we were being scolded with the “not so good” results of the weeks that passed (as if we’re not really trying to make the numbers). This is the worst if I must say.

There are a total of 6 supervisor-trainees in our account and I’m included in that “group”. To be singled out and be told that we totally disrespected him is a very heavy accusation. May be 5 months is just enough for the other supervisors but for me, with the load of job that was given to me and still pilling-up, I think it will take me 7 months or so to be used to the changing load of job and all that other shitty (I’m actually using this word because I’m so pissed, but I used to like what I do) things that we need to do. I’ve never disrespected anybody, not unless the person does not give respect. It really went straight to my artery and it kept on bleeding. May it would be different if he’s not my friend or is he really? See, now I have a lot of doubts. Now I’m thinking of ditching him and just go back to Manila. It’s really all coming back now, why I dropped my course in college and why I left my previous companies. It’s because their principles are not in line with mine. It’s because they don’t believe in what I can do. It’s because all I’m getting are negative feedback for improvement and no more recognition just to make it balance. It’s like the air that I’m breathing now inside the office is toxic and it dries up my insides until my bones are melted and I can’t do anything anymore but to obey and say YES...even if it’s against my will. May be I just need an outlet to vent all the frustration that piled up after 2 weeks of sarcastic reminders and feedback but for sure I’m never going to be the same to my boss anymore. I will just keep our relationship professional and we will both have a different social life, which I should’ve done before.

2008-10-18T23:51:00.001+08:00

Benpi dess...

2008-10-18T13:27:00.001+08:00

Taskete!:'(

Benpi dess...

2008-10-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

Taskete!:'(

After killing bees...

2008-10-18T13:07:00.001+08:00

So I gave it another shot. I really need my best buddies. I'm so not sure if I'm doing the right thing. Help me?:-(

OMFG

2008-09-11T10:02:00.001+08:00

It's a f***ing REWIND!

I really have a bad judgement when it comes to the type of guys I go out with. He sweet-talked me just so he can f*** me! I really hate myself right now...:'(

Woooha!

2008-09-01T04:51:00.001+08:00

Orbitz Cebu, year end party--after party at Beat Box.

weeeee

2008-08-03T17:52:00.001+08:00

Partying last night with friends..i'll post more from raymond's cam..

Oh Yeah...thanks!

2008-07-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

It really kills me when I'm left with nothing to do on my rest day. I had lunch, alone. Watch 3 movies, alone. And I watched and laugh over FRIENDS...ALONE! Good thing man created the "internet". It's my quick remedy to boredom. I just found out that I missed my 2 friend's birthday. bummer! I saw my best friend's new boyfriend. I'm overly happy for you Audrey. I listened to new tracks of artists recommended by my good friend Pope. I'm so loving it! Then I bumped into reading the blog of my ex-supervisor. It actually some light. I felt so lucky. Not because he's sobbing over somebody but he's so positive with everything. Well if you'll read his entries before, I really felt bad for him. So now I'm of to doing something good for myself again. I'll go ahead take more pictures and sketch some more designs. I think that'll put some life to my not so alive self.

Lunch!

2008-07-16T16:25:00.001+08:00

Eating out...alone.:-(

Boink...boink

2008-07-16T05:19:00.001+08:00

Why do you have to show me who u really are when you already know that you can't stick around?

Mellow

2008-07-16T05:12:00.001+08:00

Kinda buzzed

Waiting

2008-07-14T05:39:00.001+08:00

Waiting for my ride, 4am today...my 365th day here in Cebu.

Thinking

2008-07-14T05:31:00.001+08:00

Peaceful Sunday shift.

After Hours

2008-07-08T13:06:00.001+08:00

4am today after a very toxic shift.

Gum in my hair

2008-07-03T19:25:00.001+08:00

I guess I'm really selfish.

When I was a kid, it takes me a while before I share my "baon" or my toy. As a teen, I became really jealous if I suspect somebody who's doing some move to my partner or even my crushes. Until now im still guilty of being selfish. I'm trying to control myself though and I'm having a hard time, major! I'm into this guy and I can't help but to bully those guys who's trying to make a move. I don't know if I can, but I guess the only way to stop being a bully is to really tell him that I like him. I know, I sound very "high school" right?! Well I guess I'm not that confident, apart from what most people think of me. That's my biggest flaw...I hate it!

Finally

2008-06-28T22:14:00.001+08:00

On our way to alcoy (bossing, jayca, edd and kimee)

Just taken

2008-06-28T19:45:00.001+08:00

Taken just now here at alcoy, south of cebu..i'll post more pics tomorrow..hubog na?dili pa uy!

QA Awarding of Top Agents

2008-06-28T09:14:00.001+08:00

Obviously I'm the photographer.*sigh

Word!

2008-06-19T19:13:00.001+08:00

It has been so long since I actually blah about how I'm doing. Most of the posts are just photoblog and it doesn't say how I'm doing.
Time really passes so fast. I cannot believe that I've stayed here in Cebu for almost a year now (It's not that Cebu is so rural). I've survived not buying expensive clothes, trashing cash by clubbing and having signature-coffee everyday. This is just my first stop. The next one will be outside P.I. . I'm hoping that I'll be more independt and responsible adult if I'll be moving to a different continent. My eyes are close to shutting down so I'll just continue tomorrow. I know it's not juicy yet, just wait tomorrow.;-)

Monday going on Tuesday

2008-06-18T13:55:00.001+08:00

Boring hour of the shift.

Monday going on Tuesday

2008-06-17T13:48:00.001+08:00

Fooling around the office.

Swoosh

2008-06-07T18:46:00.001+08:00

Saturday afternoon after shift with friends here in Cebu. (L-R Ai, moi, Rob and Kaika)

Smoochy

2008-06-06T17:54:00.001+08:00

Me and roan at Mango Square's aniv inside Numero Doce (super hot club here in Cebu)

Lost

2008-05-20T17:43:00.001+08:00

I'm so loving this picture taken by Edd Buenaviaje. It's not because I'm in it, but how me and Kimee sizzled in it!hehe...:-P
I'm so hoping that it'll post in its original size. So hating the fact that my brother gets to bring the laptop, but so loving my phone in getting it posted.

Über HOT! pt.2

2008-05-20T17:17:00.001+08:00

Rockin' with Roan at the Travel & Consumer Red Hot Summer party.

Eeeee...KIMCHI!

2008-05-18T09:54:00.001+08:00

We rocked Numero Doce last night! ( Kimee and myself getting tipsy )

Über Hot!

2008-05-18T09:40:00.001+08:00

The weather is a bit gloomy but we still sizzled. ( Travel & Consumer, "Red Hot Summer" party )

SUPER!

2008-04-28T20:30:00.001+08:00

I finally arrived in Manila! I planned this vacation for months and all my raving paid off.
( 04.14.08 ) Monday evening, I met up with some of my "SUPER" friends ( Dino, Carla, Martin, Fabby and Raine ) for dinner. We chowed at Kitchen in Greenbelt3. I didn't know that Martin's having problems with his boyfriend that time. So that was like our topic while waiting for the food. Funny thing was his beau is also having dinner next door at Ebun. It's literally next door and the two restos are even sharing one comfort room. We shared our thoughts in whisper because Martin's so paranoid that his BF'll hear us. Anyway, they are no longer together. Martin's single again, any takers? He's the one leaning his chin on my shoulder, check the snap above. I really had fun that night. I'm kind of missing them now.:-(

Home sweet Home

2008-04-27T16:15:00.001+08:00

( 04.12.08-04.13.2008 ) The first thing in my itinerary is to spend quality time with my family. Even though it's Saturday night, going out to party never crossed my mind. Well it did, like two times. But don't hate me, at least I didn't actually sneaked out which I would do normally. Anyhow, I played Star Wars the whole evening with my younger cousins and bonded with my female cousins. The next evening was a blast as well. Got so into Wii! I forgot what game we're playing but I really had fun.

Lie

2008-04-24T18:59:00.001+08:00

"I don't know why and how, pero nawala eh."

It's still echoeing in my head. Is it really hard to be honest with your feelings? I just don't understand why it's so hard for most guys to be really honest with their feelings. I don't want to rant about it and I've accepted the fact that I was dumped, but you just caused a bigger pain than actually telling me straight that it's over. Why do you have to wait when it's easier for you to just spit it out on my face? Don't get me wrong, I really tried to accept ur reason but my stomach really can't accept. You actually played me. You offered friendship but I don't think my heart can take more of you. I'm not ready for someone who changes his mind quicker than "The Flash". So I'm really determined to get you out of my system.

Just a small favor, stop listening to Secondhand Serenade, because you're putting some bad air in my playlists.

I love mirrors!

2008-04-06T23:19:00.001+08:00

Lunch out with nina+janey.

YES! I am queer.

2008-03-31T13:13:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I posted some pictures that I took from last weekend and the weekend before that. I got a weird comment from one of my contacts that I look so girly. I admit that I'm not a discreet type of gay guy, I'm more of queer. I don't really care if most of gays here in P.I. are so in "DENIAL" of their preference. Let's admit it, there are a lot of gays around that are actually thinking and saying that they are "bisexual" but haven't really got to do it with a girl (I know because I’m like them when I was 18 or 19). Lame huh? At least I got to do it with a girl back in college and I'm really not seeing myself as a bisexual merely because I’m not seeing myself being romantically involve with a girl. Well I have crushes but it's just because I admire how they dress and how they look without make-up. But I don't think that is enough to raise the flag. Me, girly? Well I admit that I can be at times. My friends can actually tell you that I don't really act or even try to look one. What can I do I'm androgynous. Well don't hate me, I'm not over confident when I said that. Just ask my friends. I'm actually used to the reactions I get from baristas to different cafes when I tell them that my name is Patrick. Even if I try to be butch-Y, I will just make a fool out of me and make them think that I'm a lesbian (and I have nothing against them, they are part of the rainbow). So that comment I got from this contact really made me giggle. But I got annoyed when he actually PM-ed (private message) me saying that it was just his opinion. I was not even offended. May be he kinda got ticked when I replied to his comment that I think he's more girly with his long hair. I don't know if he thinks that he's so butch in his headshot, but I don't really care. I just replied to his comment and it was just my own opinion. If ever this blog will offend him, well I’m not sorry. I’m just publishing what I felt.

The Planner

2008-02-02T09:37:00.000+08:00

Last year I was really excited when Starbuck's opened the Holiday Planner thingy. It works like this, when you buy any beverage chow they will ask if you wanted to get a card to have a neat planner from them. they will fill the card with stickers whenever you buy a beverage or chow. there are special Christmas drink that you need to complete. So 12 Christmas drink and 12 chow or any beverage for that card. Then after completing all 24 they will now give you their limited edition planner and drop your card, with your information, for charity. So it's not just for the planner but it'll also help a charity.

Before going to work I would pass by Starbucks first, which is just in our building. Even if I'm running late, I'd still grab a Christmas drink or my favorite Caramel Macchiato ( iced )! But for this year, I'm not even amused. Well when I first saw the planner, I thought it's neat because of the brown soft leather. I tried completing the card with 24 stickers. But after getting 12, I got bored and thought that it's really silly that I'm buying caffeinated drink even if I'm not into it anymore ( I just stopped drinking coffee and still trying to avoid it for a month now ). Nanay Win ( friend and supervisor from our office ) just gave her almost-full-card to me since she's not into it anymore. I still got the planner but I'm not that excited to fill it up.

Am I losing it?

2008-02-01T10:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I just decorated the entire floor for the client visit. I'm not so stress but i was so tired because I just have one assistant who helped me post and change billboards and hang decorations on the ceiling. So I decided to go to Ayala Center ( closest mall from the office ) to buy another EVE ( electric fan ) and of course to check out clothes because I haven't done any shopping for the 3 weeks, suicide right? Another unfortunate "event" happened ( a lot of stupid acts and incidents happen to me in this mall...well, most of the time ). I was with Nanay Win ( my supervisor before and my friend from the office ) and we decided to chow in KFC ( Kentucky Fried Chicken ) because it's not so crowded there. We approached two separate lines. She got her order first and the crew from my line since the crew in my line is still chatting with his colleague while preparing my Strawberry Fizz ( soda with unsweetened Strawberry jam ). While waiting for my Go Go ( chicken ceasar in pita bread ) 3 guys lined up next to me. The first one is a really tall old, should I say matured-looking-German-looking-guy, then a next to him I-don't-care-if-you-think-I-stink-looking guy and then the last person is this I-love-earth-colors-kind-of-guy-and-I-know-I'm-cute-but-I-don't-care-looking guy. I gave him the "hey" ( it's when I look at a person and give him a grin while I nod a bit ) look. he smiled back but when he heard me talk to the crew in English, he kinda backed off as if I'm off limits or something! What's up with that? I mean, I can't speak bisaya ( dialect in Cebu and other islands, south of the PH ) and they don't understand filipino/tagalog ( dialect of most Filipinos ) that much. I gave me a very disappointed look. It's like he wanted to talk to me but since he "thinks" that I'm high maintenance then he's pulling back! I just find it very ludicrous! I felt a bit insecure about myself. I just pretended that it never happened.

After having lunch, we went straight to Circuit City ( specialty shop for gadgets, game consoles, etc. ) to buy a crystal case for my PSP. Nanay Win needs to bounce early so I was left with my flat mate Mona. After purchasing the fan we decided to go home first since her shift starts at 10 in the evening. I'm not really bothered about what happened over lunch but it just bounced back at me. I wanted to write about it immediately because it's my most effective outlet when I feel like a loser. I wanted to look for a hook up as well so I'm choosing for Ayala or any net cafe near UP ( University of the Philippines ). It's a no brainer so I ended up going back to the mall. I texted Teetle ( another friend from the office ) because it's her birthday, not hoping that she'll treat me or anything. She replied and she invited me for dinner and boozing with Gene, Eds and Fordey ( more friends from the office ). Of course I said yes! I want this stupid thought out of me!

I waited in EGG ( net cafe in Ayala ) because Teetle will play 2k8 there before having dinner with the rest of the guys. It's also a good thing that I went online last night because my good friend Audrey is online too! I really miss her! She told me that she's planning to visit me here in Cebu before going home in Batangas with me. Oh, and I just found out that her younger sister Yntil will get married December of this year! We're both excited for her sister! I also asked her opinion if I'm really look maarte ( vain ). She just told me that I'm really born that way and she knows that I can't just change in an instant! I really denied it to her! I'm really not maarte! I eat street food, not even choosy where to go ( except for trekking, hiking and other outdoor stuff that will require me to go in a forest ). She just explained to me that I will really have a hard time making people believe that I'm not like that unless they have already spent a day with me. It made me think, how is it possible if guys are just too afraid to even talk to me! I just hate being judged as that! After a very intense with a touch of mushiness on the side conversation with her, I kinda felt like I want to go home and just sleep on it. But Teetle and the other guys already waited for me so I can't back-out now.

We decided to have dinner in Casa Verde, one of my favorite restos here in Cebu. The place is really cozy and the food is really great plus it's really cheap. . I just ordered a deep fried ham and turkey sandwich while the rest of the guys ordered their mouth watering baby back ribs. After the chow we went to Wine Shop ( a nice bar near Golden Peak ) to drink. Since it's my first time there, they let me try Sangria ( cocktail mix in a pitcher ). It tasted so fruity I didn't even feel that the alcohol is already reaching my head. So I called off the night and just went home while they went to another bar to drink some more.

I got home kinda tipsy and my body feels so hot because of the alcohol. Good thing it helped me forget about that absurd thing that happened. So now I don't really know how to end this blog because my brain is not in its good condition. I'm really not used to having no sleep anymore. Man! is this because I'm going to get older soon?! =(

Sinulog 2008

2008-01-21T18:31:00.000+08:00

I'm just so happy after my Sinulog (a festival here in Cebu honoring Sto.Niño, a patron here in Cebu) experience. It was so much fun! The parade was also great but I just wish that all of the people can dance because the beat of the drum was so tempting. Me and my friends are actually shakin' our booty while watching. We have lots of nice pictures but I have to wait for my other friends to upload it, since I lost mine a long time ago back in Manila and I still can't buy the Pentax K100D. I don't wanna brag about it, so anyway...I posted some pictures im my multiply ( jpinkpill.multiply.com ) so check them out. I post some from Nanay Win's (my mom in the office) cam.

Pre-Sinulog Party @ the Loft with Connie

We started celebrating Sinulog by hitting the Loft ( a really nice club just in out office building ). I partied with Kaika, Connie, Xenia, Nanay Win, Raymond, Kimmie and Carlo. It's a bit hassle at first because it started to pour but when we get inside it got better. Well not until this group of matronas ( old ladies behaving like they're in their 20-something ) started pushing us near the door going to the balcony. But of course I don't want them to affect my party-mood so I just shake my booty so they'll get conscious with their dancing, and they did. I'm evil you know..hahahaha. The others have to go home early because they didn't like too much of the crowd, but it's okay. Me, Connie, Xenia and Kaika ( who's missing all night with her boyfriend ) partied until our feet hurt. I went home so wet because it's hard to get a cab around that time with that kind of weather. I just told myself that I'll enjoy the parade tomorrow.

Me and Nanay Win

The next day, Honey woke up really early for the mass. Me, Nina and Bossing just stayed at the house because we all decided that we will go out after lunch. After the mass Honey decided that she will go straight to Mango ( street where the parade will happen ). I thought I was the one who's so excited about the festival...hahaha. Nanay Win texted me past 11am I think because they're all preparing already for the parade. Still lazy to take a bath, myself, Nina and Bossing followed around 1pm. We prepared ourselves that it's going to be hot and really crowded it not wet and crowded. The sun was still up until 3pm but it poured so hard but the dancers and the crowd didn't mind the rain. We had so much fun and decided to rest for a bit at Yellow Cab, which is so convenient because it's just on the side. So even if we're taking the break we still didn't miss the rest of the parade. After the snack we decided to go to Ayala Mall to just chill and wait for the fireworks. While making fun of the other table in Starbucks, we got really tired and exhausted. So me and my flat-mates decided to go home, I just don't know if the others still waited for the fireworks. I have to cut my story short because I still need to buy some veggies for my pasta. I'm just so excited this coming August because we're all going to Davao for Dinagyang ( another fab festival here in the Philippines )! See yah!Ü

south to way WAY SOUTH!!!

2008-01-18T16:43:00.000+08:00

I've been here in Cebu for the almost 7 months now and I have to admit it...I'm liking it here. Not only that it's cheaper to eat out and go out but it's also more relax. It's like a city inside a big province. Well the malls are very few and the shops are just okay but it doesn't matter. I really think that I can live with that. I'm actually thinking of just finish my school here. They have BigFoot here and the location is the best. It's near the beach and there's a bar there called "Tiki-Tiki" (I don't i got it correctly but i just passed by the school, my friend here just told me about it) and it's like the nice bars in boracay. Anyway, I just have to tell my dad about it so he will let me finish my studies here.

Another good thing about Cebu is that their restos are so cheap you can eat the best ribs for less than 150PHP! The clubs are not that bad. Formo's like one of the bars in GB3, I just dont dig the size of the bar. Vudu though is like Embassy minus the red carpet. I just wish that the crowd is more mature, because most of the crowd are like in high school (most of them are from IS, may be that's why they can get in easily). The best club so far is Loft. They always play house/electronica and the drinks are not bad. That's why I'm thinking if I can really stay here for long

who am i?

2008-01-02T12:17:00.001+08:00

What's Your Stress Style?

My Result: Buddha

You're a Buddha. Eyes half-closed, a slight smile playing on your lips — you accept even the most stressful situations with ease. Nothing seems to surprise you. In fact, you may even tell people that you anticipated the problems you encounter. Stress happens, you might say, so why fight it?

Peacefulness takes you a long way toward handling stress, but there's more to it than the path of least resistance. Often, stress is a sign to take action, to make a change, or — at the very least — to get up and jump out of the way! Your placid pace could cause a bottleneck in the stress-processing plant, allowing problems to stick around much longer than necessary. Try moving a little faster the next time you're faced with a sticky situation, and see if you can't be cool and courageous at the same time.

Take this test >

missing home

2007-11-20T22:48:00.000+08:00

I've made up my mind.

Just an update, for weeks I've been going through a dilemma. I can't decide if I'm going to stay here (in Cebu) or go back to Manila. This is all because of my dad. He threw in the question and from then on I didn't stop thinking about it.
Going back...It's true, now I'm decided that I'll go back to Manila and study there. I guess I'm really not ready to be away from my family. But hey, I didn't chickened-out. I'm still surviving even though my family's islands away from me. But I'm so missing my friends so bad! The scene here is very different. If your going out on a Friday night, the crowd dies around 2 in the morning! I miss the scene back home. Waking up late, eating out with Janey, coffee with Dino, drinking with Steph and Caroline, clubbing with Dino (sometimes with Sam or martin or Raff), movie with jewel and Alex and hanging out JC, Marie, Ronan, Kenneth, Tanya and Penny. Gosh! I really miss my friends.